Ever Been Woke Up Out Of A Dead Sleep??

Last night I had a rude awakening.

I was sound asleep, minding my own business on my side of the bed, which mind you I have to share foot space with 2 cats and all of a sudden I woken up out a blissful dream to a loud crash.

Now my initial thought was the damn cats were up to no good again. They can get very rambunctious at times and terrorize you while you are sleeping. You become their personal play ground, they run and bounce on you while they chase each other, anyways I could go on and on about them but let me get back to this.

As I was saying, here I am swearing at my cats only to remember one of them is outside and the other is staring at me. That is how she wakes me up...by staring. it is a very creepy feeling....anywho.. All of a sudden I feel this sharp jabbing pain through my hip. Then it all becomes clear. I realize that loud crash, well, that was me falling out of bed and hitting the hardwood floor like a ton of bricks. So I kinda lay there, sprawled out on the floor for a few minutes, got my thought process straight and sat up.

Now, the hall light is on and shining through the cracked door. I look at my husband who mind you is now on my side of the bed and he is fake sleeping. Wanna know how I know he was fake sleeping? Because he had freakin tears running out of his eyes as he silently laughed to himself and held in the noise. Dumb ass….

So I look at him, let out a huge sigh and stand up. He has now covered his head with the pillows and blanket (that’s cause he knows what comin). Laughing hysterically, he asks me what I was doing on the floor. He explains that I would get a much better nights sleep if I slept in bed. (he is going to get his)

I was not impressed, not at all.

I am 31 years old and I think the last time I fell out of bed I was 6 years old. Didn’t feel good then and it really doesn’t feel good now.

Now one would think that I have a full size or even a queen size bed. NOPE, I have a King size bed and my husband still manages to hog more than ¾ of the bed. There have been many mornings I have woke up and found myself teetering on the edge, this time I teetered off the bed.

I think it is time to invest in a Stun Gun. That’ll teach him!

Home

The stress level at home is on the rise again. I really have a hard time dealing with my husband. I am having a hard time seeing myself living the rest of my life with him. Don't get me wrong, I do love him but I am having a hard time dealing with him. The insecurity, of which I have never mentioned, the anger and the alcoholism.

The insecurity is something that I have always been able to deal with but now that he is drinking more it is becoming less tolerable. We have no love life because he smells like booze. he thinks it is because he is a little over weight. Well, he is wrong. The other reason he comes up with is because he does not have monster in between his legs!! I think he thinks that my last boyfriend was soooo bigg. Umm..wrong again!! This has always been a problem, one which I fore see never going away. I have tried to tell him hundreds of times that is not the problem, yet he never really gets it.

What is the deal with men and the size of their Johnson's?????

Things

Things at my house have been fairly quiet. My husband is still drinking the same. The only change is that I have decided to act like nothing is wrong, that way the stress is very low. He keeps saying that he can't figure me out. He knows something is wrong, I wish I could just get him to understand. I just want everything to be stress free for my son. I hate knowing he is having a not so good childhood.

Well it's Monday

and I am back at work. The weekend was quiet. My husband stills swears that I am cheating on him. So much has changed at home mainly with me. My son has a lot of problems and then through in my husbands drinking problem to the mix and it just make things that much more difficult. I guess my husband doeshn't seem to see how his actions are taking a toll on our relationship. Due to his increased amount of drinking we have just about stopped having sex. I am not a drinker, I mean I will have a couple drinks one a week but that is about it. The way I see it, my husband has gotten drunk every night of the week for weeks and I personally am tired of breathing in the fumes!! So now he assumes that I am fooling around, how do you tell someone that you just can't stand the smell of the booze whern you are trying to make love?

My Crazy Husband

What a shame!! Well, today I am at work, trying to get caught up on paperwork that is a way past over due. Well, mostly because I don't want to be at home, pretty sad huh? So my phone ring at 7:30 am..pretty strange, it has to be either my son or my husband. Figured it was my son because my husband went on another bender last night and besides he never gets up early. I was wrong!!! It was the other 1/2, so I asked him what's up? He says "I was making sure you were at work because I just woke up from a bad dream." I said " Oh, what was it about?" I had a dream that you were riding another guys cock. So I am checking to make sure you are at your desk!" Stunned, I asked " Are you kidding me?" "Nope" he states. "Well, ok then, see you later, bye" and he hangs up on me!

LMAO- Holy shit...this must be a joke, must be, right? Nope.......

My Sunday Morning

So as per my usual Sunday routine, I have to tell step-daughter every step of getting ready for church. You would think at 7 years old that you would start to know the routine. Get up, take a shower, brush your hair, brush your teeth, brush your hair and so on. So while my husband sleeps his drunk off from the night before, I am the one stuck making sure she is ready for when Grama gets her to take her and my son to church. Give me a break..you already know what need to be done, so just do it!! Just for once I would like him to get up and tell her what she needs to do. Heck, she is his kid not mine. But seeing as your husband get drunk the night before it really falls onto you. If I don't make sure she is ready then I am the bad guy. Either way you look at it I am the bad guy, in her eyes I am just being mean and bossy so it is a no win situation!

Cheating Man or did you find a Good Guy ??

So I was checking out this site called Womansavers.com I have never seen such a website. I looked around and even signed up because I am that intrigued by it and you can't really do much unless your a member. They say they are the worlds largest database rating abusive and cheating men!! Wish this was around when I needed it. So if you want to know if the man you met at the bar is a good guy or a bad guy you could try finding him here. You dated a total loser and you want to let the lovely woman of the world know about him, post it here. Maybe you dated a great guy and it just wasn't a compatable relationship, let the ladies know what a great he was. I will defiantly be back to talk more about this site once I am completely registered.





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My Journey to Self Improvement

So this journey is not going so well. I am not sure if it is lack of will power or if I am being assisted. About a month ago I decided that I was ready to quit smoking. Three weeks ago I started to take Chantix to help me with that. Well my husband who is also a smoker and was always the one who said we should quit, always lecturing me about how bad it is for us and so on, really has not been supportive of me. More times than not he will sit next to me on the couch and procede to light up! Piss me off. No reguard for what I am doing, it is not like he didn't know it was coming. I had to wait 2 weeks before I could see my doc and another week before my insurance company approved my prescription. So here I am craving a smoke after not smoking all day. So it is the same idea with losing weight. No support at all. I wanted to go to the gym and he gets all pissed off and says he loves me just the way I am. Thanks honey but I am not buying it. You told me what you use to think of me before I gained the weight and you also told me what other men had said. So it is not that you love me just the way I am, it is the fact that you don't have to worry about who is looking at me and what they are thinking!!

Why, oh why

I think my husband is a psycho, I swear! Sometimes I wonder what I have to do...he went on another wild rampage last night. Had a few drinks, so now he is mad about sex and the new neighbors upstairs. The new neighbors can be a little loud and such but I think it is a little out of this world to slam the front door open and closed 8 times. Then stomp through the house and finish it off with slamming the bathroom door open and closed a few times. I am glad we rent, he has broken something in every apartment.

1st apartment together he punched a hole in the wall

2nd apartment he picked up a kitchen chair through it at the wall, the wheel went through the wall, hit the fridge with the same chair and it put a whole in the side of it and smashed the light cover in the ceiling.

this one all I have seen is him trying to pull a radiator out of the floor, yes a heating radiator and now the door knobs on the bathroom door!

WHAT A WEEK!!!

WOW…were to start?!?!.....I have had one hell of a week. First time I have stopped to take the time to write anything….Let’s see


Tuesday: I get a call from school, my son found a cell phone and instead of turning it in, he took it home. Ok I can deal with that no problemo, well what is worse is he makes the phone his own. He deleted all the stuff AND added his own numbers, made a few calls and downloaded some stuff. It kills me to think that he knew this was wrong yet he chose to do it!!!

Wednesday: I get a call from school, he has been suspended for 3 days! He deserves it that is for sure. Def not what I wanted to hear, that’s for sure. So now he is in huge trouble at home!! I go home and decided that I needed to do a room sweep. Never found anything else BUT did discover that he was smoking….geez…what am I gunna do now? I started to smoke when I was his age (12) so I know I can’t scream and yell, especially consider in I still smoke 19 years later..

Thursday: Not so bad…been working ½ days due to Zachary’s suspension. I kinda like it actually!!

Friday: All is well, crazy days at work due to being on ½ days but it is manageable. Well Friday night was a little less to be desired. My husband who drinks a lot,(he is an alcoholic, knows it and of course does nothing but talk about how he wants to do something about it) and can act like an asshole went on one of his rants till about 2 am.

I will touch on each one of these another time...big punishments for my son and some equally big consequences for my husband are coming.