I Am So Freakin Excited

I was really busy at work yesterday and did not have time to post. Although I did think about it on several occasions, I knew that if I stopped what I was doing I would do more than post a post. I would most definitely have to look at some blogs and leave some comments. Such a vicious cycle, isn't it???

Anywho, I got a call, well a voicemail, yesterday from Z's clinician at the counseling center. Oh boy I thought at first, but as I listened it was positive! She told me that he has been doing such a good job that she thought that it was time to cut him back to 4, yup you read it, 4 days a week. I wanted to cry.

He went through these phases there, the honeymoon period, which they give all the kids time to adjust. At that time they are really not forced into talking or participating in groups. That lasted about a week, then it turned into this is what you ARE going to do. He was required to sign a contract stating that he was going to participate in all activities.

About 2 1/2 weeks I ago I had to go to a meeting with him and his clinician and she said that he was not participating and they understand that sharing feelings is hard, but he really needed to and what could they do to help him make his baby steps? He was not very happy about having to do that but apparently took them seriously, because he has been doing what he needs to do there!

I am so proud of him, I of all people know how hard it is to talk and I don't want him to grow up to be an angry man who is out to get everyone who does him wrong.

So staring this week he will go Monday, Tuesday, have Wednesday off, go Thursday and Friday. He was hoping to have Mondays off so he could sleep late.

I said "Well, would you rather go 4 days in a row or have a mini break in the middle of the week? Something to look forward to!"

He thought about it and said "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea, I can still sleep late on Wednesdays."

Emotional Rollercoaster

My last week has been a mess and full of drama. But now I am back and stronger than ever. I can say that this has been the single most hardest thing I have ever been through. I had my son when I was 19, his father left within days of me telling him I was pregnant and that was NOTHING compared to this.

So now I have my shit together and I feel stronger and more empowered all I can say is "Bring It On".

I guess as a parent when someone makes such bold claims you feel the need to do your own research and that is what I have done. I must say that I have been left with a lot of unanswered questions.

I looked this supposed "psychiatrist" up and found that he is not certified through the AMA. His name is listed on the AMA site but as a self designated Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist. What the hell is that supposed to mean?? He is licensed in Connecticut through the Department of Health BUT as a family medical doctor and surgeon.

I have also requested to look at my son's chart considering that the report given was full of in accuracy's and was told that they would have to find out how that would be possible. I am STILL waiting for a call back from the program director. What is taking so long??? Makes me wonder if there is something to hide. They had no problems making such bold claims.

Which included:

Them: My Maternal Grandmother was an alcoholic.
Me: When asked about my family's health history, I said my paternal grandmother had Alzheimer's.

Them: My husband and I physically abuse each other.
My son: My Dad and Step mom physically abuse each other.

Them: My husband got drunk and destroyed the couch last month and my son came out of his room with a weapon.
Z and I: My husband got drunk and destroyed the couch more that 6 months ago and it woke "Z" up and he came into the living room. I sent "Z" back to his room. When I went in there to check on him, he was sitting there with a bowling pin.

Those are just a few of the twisted statements and allegations that were made.

I had a conversation with him on Monday and he seems to think that my son has Tourettes since his tic is still present.

I asked what gave him that idea and he said "Because he has a vocal and motor tic."

I said: "He has a motor tic? What tic is that?"

Doc: "Didn't you say that he blinked his eyes?"

Me: "Ummm...no, I said he cleared his throat and I was told what motor tics to look for, such as eye blinking."

Hello you stupid ass, isn't it your job to observe my child??? I have to do your job for you? Your the doctor here not ME!!

She Comes This Morning

The call came from the DCF worker yesterday afternoon. We made an appointment for this morning at 8 am. She seemed really nice on the phone, just said she wanted to meet and clear this up. Although she couldn't tell me over the phone what the report said I am pretty sure that I know what it says.

Last week this psychiatrist said he was on the fence about whether he thought that this would benefit "Z". As of right now my husband (who acts like a child as well) has taken this as "Z" told on him. All he has said to "Z" is hi and bye, will not associate with him at all. I look at it as, you can't blame a child who was scared. "Z" is going to this place for help and if something at home bothers him, he is supposed to talk about it. Maybe my husband will realize that behaviors of his have consequences too.

I decided that after all this is cleared up that I will be sending "Z" to another program. This decision is not based on the fact that the psychiatrist sent a report to DCF but because this man was careless and did not take the time to read the file for accurate information before having a converstation with me . Granted it was a mistake but this is my child we are talking about and if you are not clear with your facts before you open your mouth then as far as I am concerned, you are not capable of taking care of my child.

The Single Worse Day Of My Life

happened yesterday....

Have you ever tried to do the right thing for your child and have it blow up in your face?

It happened to me yesterday. I had a meeting at the counseling place my son goes to and they informed me that they would be informing Children and Family Services about the one of the drunken episodes of my husbands. During the meeting the psychiatrist twisted shit up and wrongly accused my family of stuff.

He started the conversation by saying that "Z" had seen physical domestic violence in my house and he was going to have to report it to the Department of Family services.

“Whoa,” I said “Not my house, are you sure that you read that file correctly?”

He replied with a “Yes”

I said “Well you had better look again, that would have been between his father and his wife, not me and my husband!”

He looked and gave no apology and continued to be an ass.

”That is why I am clarifing it with you" he blurted " But you have been involved in physical abuse your whole life.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked

“Well, when you were a kid growing up.” He replied.

I said “I was freakin nine months old, my father beat me to a coma and the State took us away. My adoptive parents never laid a hand on me”

He perked up and said “You know, you may have amnesia from that.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked, might I add in a very disgusted tone.

After that things kind of blurred out. I never imagined that I would be treated like this. So I told him I couldn’t sit here and listen to this anymore. After 30 minutes of being talked to like that I had enough. It was like he was looking for something that wasn’t there.

Before I left, I said “You know this really concerns me.”

He looked confused and said “What do you mean?”

“What I mean is, you never took the time to read that file accurately. You looked over it, found some info and ran with it. If you had read it you would have known that Z said he saw his Dad hit his Step mom and that kind of stuff never happened in my house. How am I supposed to know you are not going to take things and twist them all up in the future? How do I know you won’t confuse my son with some other child? Feel free to report what ever you like, I can assure you that they will find nothing of that nature. If my husband ever hit me or "Z" it would be the last thing he ever did. I most certainly would not stick around for more!”

He had nothing to say after that. I called the supervisor of the program and let her know of my concerns. She was not much help either. All I got from her was a bunch of “uh-hu’s.”

I said understood their position but my concern was any future meetings with my son and whether information will be interpreted correctly. I also said I was not comfortable with my son being in his care and is there someone else he could see. She told me that he was the program psychiatrist and there was no one else. I said I would have to reevaluate my decision on keeping him there or transferring him to another facility. I also voiced my concern on the accuracy of the report. If he mixed things up in person, what did the report have on it? She really did not have much to say, but said she would look at it and call me back.

Well, I never heard from her. But there was a card in my door from the Department of Children and Families when I got home last night.