I was driving back to work from Lowes on Friday, in deep thought about whether or not we should get a Bose home theater and my cell phone rang. Of course I didn't catch the call due to driving and my phone was buried in my purse of death! I finally got my phone from the bottom of the purse of death, looked at the caller i.d. and I see that the school called. Usually it is Zachary so I never call right back, but I did decided to listen to the voice mail and it was my sons teacher. "Ann Marie, Zach is not doing so well right now. Please call us back." My heart sank, the build up to an explosion was in the works and it finally happened. I called the school back and when I finally got through to the class room some other lady answered and 1/2 assedly told me what was going on. She never really gave me the information I wanted. So I hung up and proceeded to go back to work to handle this at my desk.
I was almost at work and my phone rang again. This time I knew who it was by the ring, it was Zachary. I answered the phone and he is hysterical on the other line, crying and very, very upset. I told him I would be there in a little while to get him he just needed to hang in there. I got back to work, called back the school and the same lady I hung up on answered the phone again. Ugh, how can I get away from her?? At this point and time I didn't want to talk to her and ask for his teacher. She kept wanting to talk to me and I finally said "If you don't put Nicole on the phone I will hang up on you again."
She put Nicole on the phone and I told her I did not need to deal with someone who seemed clueless to the situation. She said that I needed to come and get Zachary, that he could not go on the bus. So I left work wondering what the hell happened and why Zachary has taken a turn for the worse the last few months. Is there something wrong in that class, is the bad behavior of other children rubbing off, is he fed up?
It Happened Part 1
Going Backwards
I haven't talked much about Zachary in a while. Things seemed to be going ok, but things aren't always as they seem. He has been having a rough time in school. His school year started off great and after the new year things have taken a turn for the worse. I tried to pass it off as puberty although I don't know if that is entirely the case. One thing I have noticed is that his Tic is getting to be more pronounced. I think I have noticed it because he was at my mom and dad's for a week. When he stopped taking the Ritalin it didn't seem so bad. They told me that if the Ritalin was the cause then it should go away. Well it never really did and now it is back full force, as if he never stopped taking the Ritalin. He sees his doctor again in May and I hope he can shed some more light on this.
I feel like we are back in 6th grade, nobody knows what's going on with him, he is angry and hostile. He has been taking Risperdal for the the voices and as a mood stabilizer, maybe the dosage needs to be increased, I miss having the semi-compliant child and it drives me crazy to think that he will be on medication for the rest of his life.
I know taking everything out of his room except for his mattress isn't going to work. His issues go far beyond just bad behavior. I feel like, I don't know how I feel anymore..I feel like everything is out of control again.
It's Official!
My son Z turned 13 today..Waaaaa!! How quickly the time went by! A teenager, can you believe he is already talking about getting a car! Come on now, your only 13! I wish he came with a switch, like one of those HDMI switches so I could turn off time and just sit and enjoy him at this age for a little longer. Soon enough he will be off to college, getting married and having a family of his own. I know it is far fetched and that this is all part of growing up. Oh well, I have the memories to hold on to and that will have to do.
It's Official!
Z had the day off from school yesterday, so he stayed up late Sunday night and boy was it late! My husband who has been a little under the weather for the last week said he was on the phone till 4 am! LOL..4 am. I guess he if officially falling into teenagerhood quite well!
I kinda gather he was up late, I went into his room to shut his tv off at 5 am and I found him asleep with the phone against his ear...LOL. I remember those days. It really amazes me how quickly time has passed and everyday that little boy turns more and more into a man. I knew that it would happen, just never realized how quick it would be.
On another note, I hope all is well with everyone..I haven't been around as much as usual, between looking at condos for sale and my new adventure approving blogs at a traffic generating site for blogs, I have been quite busy. I have lurked around all of your blogs, just haven't been around as much as I would like. Soon enough I will be back to my normal rounds and until then, keep blogging, just not to much cuz I will have a lot of catching up to do!!
Christmas Eve
Christmas Eve is always interesting here in my house. Mostly because my family is a blended family. Z lives with me and my husband and my husband's daughter lives with her mother. His parents are divorced and mine....thank goodness ARE still married.
I give Z the decision to spend Christmas Eve with his family up to him. As far as I am concerned he is old enough to make that decision. He always decides to go to his grandfather's house, which is usually fine with me, but not fine with my husband. This year however, I had a slight problem with it too. Z has always been sort of the black sheep of the family, lucky to see his grandparents once during the summer, always on Christmas Eve and if he is lucky, he will get a call on his birthday. His father however, has chosen not to have anything to do with him for the last 4 years or so. The only time he has seen him is on Christmas Eve when the whole family gets together.
Last Christmas his father was in jail..got caught not once, but twice drinking and driving. The amusing part of all that.. IT WAS IN THE SAME NIGHT!! Can we say IDIOT!! Very obvious that Z did not see him that year. So now it has been two years since he has seen his dad and the asshole could not even say hello to his own kid!!! He was in the same hous with him for four hours and did not say one word to him, not one! What kinda shit is that??
Ladies Man?
Is that what I have on my hands??
Z went to the movies yesterday evening with not one BUT two girls!! He is such a gentleman has well. He went down to their houses and waited for them to get ready to go. Walked out to the truck with them, opened the door..LOL..was quite adorable. (don't tell him I used the word adorable. They were running a little behind schedule and when I asked what happened, he said "Mom, you know how girls are!".. I sure do!
At the movies they found a place to sit (Z in the middle!!), all three of them pitched in their left over money and Z went and got the soda and popcorn. Could be girl bossiness or hopefully he was the gentleman and just went and got it.
So they went to see Alvin and the Chipmunks, they all said it was a funny movie and Zacahery would like to see it again. The girls thought the little fat one, Theodore, was the cutest thing.
I am so happy that Z has been making friends, last year it was a little tough for him. Now that he is on medication, he is much calmer and more likable. He really seems to be redeeming himself. Don't get me wrong, kids at school liked him, but not enough to hang out with outside of school. Well, that is all changing and I couldn't be happier!
Well I have lots to blog about but right now I need to make a payment on my private student loan , can't let that slide! Holiday or not it has got to be paid! I will defiantly be back later with laughs, pics and certainly more drama!! J/k...since my hubby has been on blood pressure medication I have absolutely no marriage drama!
Z's First Day Back
I am so happy, Z went back to main stream classes at school today. Not all of them, just 2, but it is enough for now. He starts with a support math class, they review what will be taught in the regular ed class that day. After that he goes back to his special ed class and later that morning he goes to a regular ed math class. I called his STRIVE teacher (special ed) and she said his first class went fine. He was excited that he knew all the work!!
Slow but steady wins the race!!
December 1st
I can not believe that it is already December. Where did the time go?? A lot has happened this year, some good, some not so good.
I haven't talked much about Z, but he is doing wonderfully. The program director for the S.T.R.I.V.E program he is in at school, has decided that he can start going back to main stream classes this month. I am so excited!! He is too, but a bit nervous, which is completely understandable. Originally he was supposed to start classes after the new year. He has been so consistent with his behavior and homework that they decided he could start now!! I am still waiting for a start date, hopefully next week.
World AIDS Day
Portugal - Restoration of Independence Day
Costa Rica - Military Abolition Day
Ancient Latvia - Barbes Diena observed
Feast day of St Eligius
Romania - The National Day of Romania, Union of Transylvania with Romania
Angola's Pioneers' Day
Adrian and Natalia of Nicomedia
Australia - First day of Summer
National Will Appreciation Day
Power Struggle
So Z and I had a power struggle this morning..I just LOVE puberty. He wanted to get on the computer and I asked him to pick up his room first. With out any drama he went and did it...so I thought! He picked up the clothes off the floor, but nothing else.
When I told him that it was not acceptable he started with "I like it this way" "This is my room" "Why do I have to clean, I will never find anything" "That is where the stuff belongs" and they go on.
No problem, no computer, that's all!!
Out Of The Mouth Of Babes
Sometime last week I was over at Mel’s blog and he had story posted about kids. They were asked some questions and gave their honest thoughts. It’s called - Are You Smarter than A first Grader? It is really cute.
What kids think is always priceless and it made me think of Z when he was about 5 years old.
About 7 1/2 years ago I had a job interview to go on and I did not have a sitter for Z. It was after work and at the time I was a single mom. So the lady who owned the company said that I could bring him and he could sit with the receptionist. I was a little weary at first but the owner was insistent that everything would be okay. This lady was very nice and had worked for her for years. So reluctantly I agreed, I got there 15 minutes early and met the woman and sure enough she was very nice. Z like her right away, so I went for the interview and came down about 30 minutes later to leave. The lady gave me a funny look and said good bye and I never really even thought about it.
So needless to say I did get the job. About 6 months after I started Teresa (the receptionist) called me over to her desk. She said me she wanted to ask me a question.
“Ok” I said.
“Remember when you came for your interview and Z stayed down here with me?” She said.
“Yes” I replied.
“Your son asked me the strangest question and I was just curious as to how he came up with the conclusion.” She said.
I asked “Well, what was his question?” At this point I am veerryy curious.
She says “He asked me how many kids I had any kids and if so how many. I told him I did and that I had three.” Continuing on she says ”He then asked me if they all had different father’s !!!”
So by now she is trying not to laugh and she says “I never hear you talk about any other kids, is there something I should know?”
I replied “No, he is my only one.” Now I am trying to figure out where this had come from and why would he ever ask such a strange question…then it hit me.
“You know why he asked that” I said “Because his dad has three kids and each of the kids has a different mother!”
So now she is cracking up laughing and she said “I have been thinking about what that little man said since the day he said it. I just never knew if there was a right time to ask anything like this.”
Out of the mouth of babes!!
Parent Teacher Conference
as today...Z is doing great as I already knew. He still has a few things to work on such as trying not to be so competitive and not being so mouthy at times. He has straight B's, which I am very pleased with. Does very well in social studies and from what the teacher says, he takes great notes! YEAH!! Last year, notes writing, ummm, yeah right!
Starting in January he will start going to classes in the main part of the school. They will start slow and see how it all works out. Slow and steady wins the race..
Hmmmm...sooo quiet
Ok, so I have been slacking over in blog land lately. Not really quite sure why..Not to much going on for the most part. I mean, you guys can only listen about my husband so many times! I try not to discuss him to much, always seems to bring me down.
Z has been doing wonderfully for the most part. That in itself is the best news. I guess the biggest problem is that he is way too competitive in gym. Like over the top competitive! From what the teacher tells me it is like he is playing basketball during March Madness. I don’t know where he gets it from, but it is something that will need to be nipped in the bud, BEFORE he goes back to mainstream classes. If that is the biggest problem with him right now, then I am ok. At least he isn’t laying anyone out!!
Saying Sorry
Z had a rough week in school. He was dropped from a level 3 to a level 2 on Tuesday and Thursday he was dropped from a level 2 to a level 1! I figured it was bound to happen, he is not in a special class because he is an angel.
So Thursday’s level drop was because he called one of his teachers and ASS!! I couldn’t believe it! He didn’t walk up to her and say “You’re an ass”, but apparently he didn’t like what she said and made the comment to himself, but the other teacher was standing behind him and over heard!! Again he wasn’t happy about the level drop and the fact he had to apologize. He has never liked to say "I am sorry" to anybody, not even me. I think it is because he then has to admit he was wrong. But he did do it and I am sure proud of that as little and stupid as it seems. His attitude has always been, if he thinks you deserve it why should I have to apologize. Even accident like bumping into someone. Most people would apologize, even if it wasn't anyones fault. Not my son, he leave you there!! Hopefully next week it will go a little smoother..
Now I am off to check out port authority clothing. Always something to do and never enough time in a day..till later..Happy Blogging!!!
Deep Thought, Odd Question
It was a typical lazy Sunday afternoon, all the chores were done and I finished helping Z with his science project on Sharks. I decided that I was going to watch a little TV and of course when I turn it on the same commercials for truck accident lawyers are on. While I was deciding what to watch, Z came over to join me. He sat there for a little while, very quiet BUT I could see that he was in deep thought and all of a sudden he comes out with......
"If you lived in a city that all of a sudden became flooded and you were in a car with a plant, would you still be able to breath?"
I sat there a little stunned, figuring he must have come up with this partly because of his project and partly because he watches ALOT of the Discovery Channel, but I was still really confused about what made him think that.
So I said "No honey, no such luck. But if your car is under water and your windows are up maybe you will have a little time before the car fills up with water. But the plant will not really help you to much."
Looking quite disappointed, he says "That stinks!"
Z..... hAd a BuMp in ThE rOad YesTerDay
Z had a little drama in school yesterday which resulted in a level drop. He had been on the highest level since a week into school. Bumps in the road happen and considering he has done such a wonderful job so far this school year I couldn't really be made at him. Plus being the only student to maintain a level three, I am pretty damn proud.
So yesterday during gym (I might add my son is very competitive in sports) he had a disagreement with another classmate. Seeing as Z doesn't like this kid it made it easier for him to be more argumentative. So Z got mad and left the gym as he was allowed to do last year. This year he can't use that as his "time out". That ended up giving him the level drop. When he lost his level he ran his mouth off about how stupid the class was, how much he hated it, he was going to ask me to pull him out, it was just like last year and so on.
He knows this year is different than last year. His teachers are trained to deal with children like Z. They have more patience and understanding. I feel it take a special person to be a special ed teacher. Last year it would have escalated and he would have found himself in the office immediately!
So, he cried a little, he was proud and made a mistake and let his anger get the best of him.
But he did pull himself together fairly quickly, within a 1/2 hour, held one of his favorite class pets, yup, they have pets! Talked it out and continued to have a fabulous day. If he continues to keep himself together he will have his level 3 a week from today.
What I am most proud of is, he actually talked to me about what happened, was very honest and upfront. Last year he wouldn't have talked to me about it at all. I told him I was proud of him for pulling himself together and that I know how hard it is to be civil to someone you don't like. (Z is very much my clone, just a boy version.) So I told him that he shouldn't let his displeasure for a person get the best of him.
Small but sweet victories! I love them...
Quiet Friday Night
It was laid back and quiet night last night. Z went to a classmates house and stayed over. It is defiantly nice to see him make friends and have people to hang out with. There are 2 boys in his class that live on this side of town. The 3 of them have been just about inseparable.
Last night I went over to meet the boys' mother. She seemed very friendly and nice but at the same time I got the impression that she takes no crap. She shouldn't either, considering her and her husband have 5 kids. EEEEk!! She told me that I was welcome to stop over anytime when Z was over there. No call necessary, just show up. That was a very reassuring comment, I felt very confident after the 20 minute meeting that things would be ok.
This year seems to be going as it should, good start in school, making friends and having fun!
Hope This Isn't A Set Back...
Z's counselor at school is pregnant with twins and has been told that she must stay off her feet for the last couple of months. Today at school they are having a little party for her. Last night Z and I went to the store and he got her a card for the class to sign and some flowers. He also made a pasta salad for the party..
This morning was a little crazy, we had to make sure he had everything that he needed before the bus came.
While he was getting his stuff together he said" Mrs. K will be gone for 6 months. I wish she didn't have to go."
I replied "Well, she needs to do what is best for her and the babies so she needs to."
He came back with " I know, I just don't like it. Why 6 months?"
So I asked him "Well, who do you think will take care of the babies if she doesn't?"
"I don't know" he replied "I just wish she didn't have to leave."
I feel bad for him, he has done so well so far and I would hate for him to fall back. I hope he had a chance to get to know the person who will be filling in for her.
I Received A Call From ...........School!
I felt my heart drop when I heard Z's teacher's voice on the other end. My first thought was "oh god, what did he do?" Pretty sad, isn't it?
His teacher proceeds to tell me that Z had done a much better job that expected so far. Sounds like even they were ready for the worst. She went on to say that for the most part he behaves well, gets a little silly once in a while but manages to pull himself together with cues and that he is VERY polite. Ummm...Come again? I couldn't be happier right now.
Funny thing is while we were eating dinner I told Z that his teacher called, he shook his head and said "What did I do?" I can't really blame him for that, he got in a lot of trouble last year and towards the end of the year I was called over every nit picking thing. I told him it was all positive, I was proud of him and I hoped he kept up the hard work.
So the first phone call of the year was very positive!
Am I Dreaming?
So things have been pretty quiet at school. This time last year Z had his first suspension! I feel like it is dream and I haven't woke up yet. He is doing good..following class rules and getting what little home work he has done. I would love to see him go into a regular class before the new year. Being in this special class really restricts what he can do at school. The only kids he really sees are the 5 in his group. No chance to make friends and he can't do what the rest of the 7th graders can do. (Hmmm.... 7th grade already?? Doesn't feel like it now that he is in this class, that's for sure.) Hopefully he has the same goals and aspirations that I have for him. But I can say he has done a complete 360 since starting his new medication and I am lovin it!
A Not So Quick Explanation!!
Some of you may wonder why I may post about my son and school. May seem kinda pointless but Z had the roughest year last year and I vented a whole lot on this blog. Some of you may know this and others will not, unless you have gone to the archives. My readers who have been with me the longest only know of last year and not when it started.
If I make a big deal of the smallest things it is because I am very proud of the small accomplishments Z makes. No matter how small they are to others, in this family they are HUGE and here is why....
My son was diagnosed with ADHD in the 2nd grade. He was put on Ritalin and in the school eyes he was better. He had some reading problems and received extra help but more or less fell through the cracks.
We made it though 3rd grade with more reading help and none the less he was still behind.
4th grade came and with the reading problems came some behavior issues. We worked really hard with the school and tried to help Z. He was given more Ritalin to get through the school day. His father walked out of his life and on the outside he looked like any other kid, but on the inside he was being ripped apart. To this day his father still has not been around
Any of you who have been with me since I started this blog know of what he went through last year with mental health issues. When I look back it all really started in 4th grade. The very first problem that started was "hair pulling" or "Trichotillomania". Basically, when he was feeling anxious he would pull out his hair from the back of his head.
We really don't know how long this was going on for. I noticed it on accident. He was standing in front of me and I looked at the back of his head near his neck and thought how strange his hair looked. So I took my hand and ran it through his hair, opposite of the way it grows, only to find 2 HUGE bald spots. To be honest with you all, my heart dropped and I was scared to death. He had a doctors appointment coming up about a week later and I waited till then before I made any moves.
When we went to his appointment I showed the doctor and he immediately referred him for counseling. I took him to the counselor and she explained to me that he had Trichotillomania. I asked what I could do and she said keep his hair short and watch for hair pulling from eye brows or eye lashes and continue counseling.
So that is what we did. Got out the clippers and buzzed it all off..practically bald. He had that hair cut for as long as I can remember. I constantly watched for pulling out the eyebrows. He continued counseling and it seemed to slow down but has never really stopped. In really stressful situations he still tries to pull his hair but with cues he can stop himself.
In the 5th grade things got worse. Behavior problems escalated, he started making noises and keeping things. He kept things like clothing tags, rocks, paper cups and pictures of things that seemed to be meaningless, paper clips, broken toys and the list goes on. He down right REFUSED to throw things away. He would get very upset at even the suggestion of getting rid of anything. I used to go in his room, find things I hoped he wouldn't notice and throw them away. Even to this day, it is a struggle to get his to get rid of stuff. When asked why he wants to keep stuff so bad, all he could say is "I don't know". It was determined that he was hoarding and had a form of OCD and he also was diagnose with vocal tics. They didn't call it Tourettes at the time because Ritalin could have been the cause. The only way to know for sure was to take him off the medication and see what happened. So that is what I did.
6th grade came and all hell broke loose!! The vocal tics continued and they changed to different ones. He was not on any medication for ADHD, behavior problems went through the roof. He was very impulsive, lied, stole, fought with kids, was angry all the time. He HATED school. He was failing every class and the school labeled him as lazy. He was still behind on reading and now needed extra help with math. His reading level was at a high 3rd grade. Homework would take HOURS and yet the school would say he was up to grade level. He was given a 504 plan to help him. His grades came up and he worked really hard. But was still a bomb waiting to explode.
At the end of the school year he had an undetermined amount of detentions and had been suspended 13 times. The school decided to do a bunch of testing on him. The tests were for learning, social, emotional, impulsivity and ADHD. In one of the computer tests it asked if he ever heard voices. He answered "Yes". He was immediately taken to a child psychologist and he was diagnosed with Auditory Hallucinations and ADHD with severe impulsivity, ODD,(Oppositional Defiance Disorder) Tourettes and mild OCD. (That's a mouth full) So he was put on Risperdal and Strattera.
I also contacted an advocate for children with learning disabilities That is when things changed. When the school found out an advocate would be coming with me to the last PPT of the school year, they were singing a different song. They bumped up the PPT date and decided that he truly had LD and some major mental heath disabilities and he was going to be put into a Special ED program starting in 7th grade.
Over the summer Z went to an intensive out patient counseling program at a mental health facility. We had a lot of great results and a lot of hardship at the same time. I can say he is a much happier boy. Good news is........he was discharged yesterday!!!
So here were are today. A new school year, a new school program, which I won't get into on this already looonnggg post. But I will explain what it is about another day. Thanks for reading and I am really sorry for the super long post.
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