Summer Is Coming To An End

Z will be heading off to school again, something I a not really looking forward to! I hope this school year will be far better than last year. My vetern readers know all about this, any new ones my not.

Z had a rough year last school year, rough is putting it lightly. He had countless detentions and was suspended a total of 15 times. I think back and partially hold myself responsible. What I mean by that is, he has Adhd with severe impulsively, co-morbid with tourettes and auditory hallucinations. Plus being a child who never talks about his feelings he was holding in alot of anger. He was not on any medication for the Adhd, h had taken Ritalin for years and started making throat noises. Turned out it was a vocal tic caused by the stimulant medication. I took him off and he was not put back on any medication till he revealed that he was hearing voices. At the end of the school year (yeah I know a little late) he was put on Strattera, a non stimulant, to treat the Adhd.

This summer was his summer to work on himself. I must say I was a little apprehensive about whether or not he would go to this counseling program and follow it as he should. He track record showed that he wouldn't. Well I am happy to say that he has. Over all he is a happier child, more positive, still a little moody but he is 12 and has hormones flaring.

He has been talking with his older sister who he doesn't get to see very often but loves to death, he has made a true friend, who even though has moved has continued to keep in contact. As a matter of fact he stayed over there Friday night. I see a brighter future for him.

Since starting the medication's things at home are better too. I no longer have to be after him to get in the shower or to brush his teeth. He just does these things now. He makes his bed, does his chores and I think for him it feels nice not to have me on his "ass" all the time. It makes for a sressful house when you are on someones case all the time. They get mad, you get mad, what a vicious cycle.

So with that said I love my boy alot and want nothing for the best for him. He feels good and that is all that matters!!

Oh and one other thing, he says he wants to be a Chef when he grows up! If you asked him at the beginning of the summer he would have snarled at you and said "I don't know, leave me alone.". He has always liked to cook but since watching the show Hell's Kitchen he really has gotten into it. He says he wants to go on the show and meet Gordan Ramsey..hmmmm..........For right now he is the new grill master!

Meet my pride and joy.........

What Will Your Kids Be When They Grow Up?

I have often wondered that about "Z". I actually worry about what and where he will be. What I mean by that is, the ADHD and auditory hallucination are both managable with medication. What about the rest of it? The oppositional defiance disorder, the lying and he has done some stealing. There are some days I just want to scream. But worst of all I am afraid for his future.

Yesterday we went to an out patient treatment center for intake into a intensive counseling program. He will start going 5 days a week 3 to 4 hours a day. If his clinician feels he he working with the program, it will be cut back to 3 days a week. He starts today! I have to say he was very open minded about going, he was not resistant to being there and even gave a list of things that he would like to work on. I thing being positive is the first step to being successful.

Family history is very limited, as both his father and I are adopted. I have a brother who is my biological brother. He had severe issues growing up. So bad infact he was taken out of the home when I was 11 and never came back. My parents tried really hard to help him achieve his goal of returning home, he just never had the drive for himself.

My biological father had issues of his own. Much that I don't know about and maybe don't want to. They say hi are from the cored being around his neck during child birth blocking oxygen to his brain. I am not so sure of that, seeing as my brother and even my own son seem to have the same issues as him.

I spoke with "Z's" grandfather last night about "Z's" dad. I have not spoken with him in over 3 years. Papa said that his father had ADHD and ODD. Now this is were the fear comes in.

As an adult my brother has pretty much got himself together. He has a good job and 3 kids. He was married but his wife had her own demons that took over her life. He has all 3 of the kids, goes to work and is a productive member of society.

"Z's" dad is far from that. He has been in jail for domestic violence, drinking and driving and least of the issues, non payment of child support. He abuses his wife, he can't hold a job, has attempted suicide and just an over all bundle of issues. I am just happy most of that started after we were done.

So the long and short of it, I just want my son to be the best he can be and I will do what it takes to help him achieve his highest potential.

Z & Medication

Been pretty much drama much free with “Z” lately. Mostly because school is out!!! He has been hanging out with his friend “A” most of the time. He goes to the pool in the afternoon with his other friend “JB” .

So he started a new medication this week, the psychiatrist prescribed him Strattera . I have had the prescription for awhile and was nervous about him taking it. The dose is very low to start, only 25 mg. He told me that most kids “Z’s” weight start at 60 mg but seeing as we both agree that “Z” should be able to function as normal as possible we are starting low and will increase when needed. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I personally do not want a vegetable for a child. I just want him to be able to function like a normal person, just be able to slow down a little bit. So we’ll see. Today is only the second day of him taking it.

"School Is Out For The Summer"

“Z’s” last day of school was Thursday, June 21st. (I’m a little behind on posts, seeing as it is now Sunday) I have to say, Thank Goodness!! You are probably thinking that I must be nuts, but if you knew how this school year went you would understand.

For those of you who may not know, “Z” was diagnosed with ADHD with impulsivity, ODD (co occurring) with Tic disorder (Tourettes) from taking stimulant medication to treat the ADHD. The culprit, Methylphenidate aka, Ritalin or Concerta just to name a couple.

He also takes medication for auditory hallucinations. When I heard “auditory hallucinations” my first thought was Schizophrenia. They are not calling it that but it is always in the back of my mind. To add to all to that, he is learning disabled and the school didn’t have room in the “budget” to get him into Special Ed until the new school year starts. There will be 4 students going to High School so that opened the door for “Z”. Pretty sad that a child has to suffer all school year because of a “budget”.

So, back to my story..”Z” had a combined total of 12 in school & out of school suspensions and an undetermined amount of detentions. He is not a “bad” kid. He doesn’t beat kids up, doesn’t destroy property and has no trouble with the law. He had become quite friendly with the security guards at the school. Seeing as he had been escorted by them a few times. When you spend lots of time in detention, you really get to know them. I found out not to long ago that two of them are brothers!

I blame myself for alot of it. He has some personal issues with his Dad, who he does not see and he is extremely angry with him. I cannot say that I don’t blame him. He went untreated all school year for the ADHD. I wasn’t to keen on making that Tic Disorder worse and the Doc agreed. I didn’t know about the auditory hallucinations until the school decided to run a battery of tests ½ way through the school year. When the reports where written and presented, I was mortified and immediately contacted his private counselor and got him set up to see a child psychiatrist.

I should have known though, there were times I would hear him talking to himself. I do that a lot so I passed it off as a learned behavior. He would also ask “what?’ or “what did you say?” when nothing was said. (I still beat myself up over that to this day.)

“Z” will be in 7th grade next school year and I am hoping that it will be much smoother. 6th grade really wore me down and I really could not have handled much more. He will be attending the school's Strive program (special ed). I will talk more about that another time.

All things considered, my son is a great kid. He is fun to be around (at times..LOL) he has a great personality, a girlfriend, a lot of friends, loves to skateboard and ride his bike.

I love him a lot and I wouldn’t trade or change anything about him!