Party Animal

Excerpts from our pet's Diaries

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary"

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


"Excerpts from a Cat's Diary"

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree

how I hope you stay up! la lalala, la lalala

I finally put the tree up last night. I decided I wanted it in a new spot this year and that could quite possibly turn into a HUGE mistake. I am seriously wondering how long it will stay up seeing that I have two cat's who think it is their personal playground! I can only hope for the best.

Miss Kitty loves the tree skirt thingy and my other cat Emmitt, just like to play with all the decorations. I can imagine what they will do when nobody is home during the week. I can see it now: Smashed bulbs, beads all over the place, my tree topper will be terrorized, ugh!

My tree.....right now!!

Meet the demolition team..

Miss Kitty

Emmitt

Weirdo

My cat is pretty weird and I have often referred to her a part human and dog at times. Sometimes I think she just has a screw loose upstairs. Before she go to the plump 15 pounds she is now, she would race through the house and jump a good 4 feet in the air and push herself off the walls. It was always a good laugh and the more you laughed, the more she did it. Maybe that is why she does it, the extra attention she got!

Now that she is so plump, she is left with racing through the house, minus the bouncing off the walls and licking things, eating the cords to the blinds, watching tv and trying to have a conversation with anyone who will listen or talk back to her. She is a very vocal cat, chatters or screams, more like screams of excitement. Usually she will find that hidden dust ball that I missed under the radiator and she will goof around and "talk" to it!

But back to the licking thing, that is a fairly new annoying habit she has and I can’t figure it out. She will lick you arms or hand, which is no bother, it is when she licks the blinds! Yes, the blinds!

What A Doozy Of A Morning!!

It all started at 1:30 am, when I should have been sleeping. I woke up realizing I kicked something furry and when I poked it with my toes it was soft and jiggley. It was my cat, Miss Kitty, but what was weird is, she didn’t move. So I poked her with my toes again and still nothing. So I freaked out and sat up. Fearing the worse, I thought she was dead!! So I poked her with my finger in her fat belly and still nothing.

So now I am sitting there at 1:30 in the morning trying to figure out what happened. Did I kill her in my sleep? She not very old, she will be 4 in February, so did she eat something she shouldn’t have? That didn’t make any sense, because we don’t feed her anything but cat food and the occasion piece of fish. Was something wrong with her cat food, I thought to myself. I can feel the tears building up in my eyes. I love my cat and oh god how the hell am I going to break the news Z.

So here I am feeling all alone, even though my husband is sleeping right next to me, trying to figure out what to do. My heart is racing and I am crying like a baby feeling sorry for all the names I ever called her, even thought they were all out of love. I leaned over and jabbed her real hard in her fat gut, she jumps up like a foot in the air and screams at me. Dumb bitch was sleeping and from what I gather in a pretty deep sleep!!

So I called her a few choice names, she came over, I petted her a little and she curled up on one of my pillows and went back to sleep.

That is how my day started and it hasn’t gotten any better….

Cat's and Eating

I am not really sure but I think my cat has issues with food. Yes it sounds crazy but I am totally serious.

I have 2 cats, there is Emmit and Miss Kitty, that is who this is about. Miss Kitty is a 15 lb eating machine and she gets fatter all the time.
In the middle of the night Sunday/Monday they ran out of food in their bowls. So when I got up a 5 am Monday morning I fill the bowls like normal. Now, Miss Kitty who acts like the world is going to end if she can see the bottom, ran up and just literally ate until she barfed. I couldn't believe it, as if they haven't run out of food before. I was making my lunch and I heard this awful noise coming from the pantry. When I went in there I found Miss Kitty next to 2 piles of half eaten cat food. Amazing! She has always had this fear of not having enough food and I often wonder if it started back when she was a kitten at the pet store. So now I am at a loss of what to do about this and figure it is time for some sort of food control.

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