Sad news

So, my office mate, who drives me nuts wasn't in today. I was secretly excited about it when I walked into my office and did not see her red jacket. I walked out into the inspection room and one of the guys told me she was not in today, in fact she wold be out all week. Yippeee, I think to myself, so of course I asked why. Well, Friday night there was an automobile accident and a teenage boy was killed. I was 1/2 asleep when I heard the last name and did not put 2 & 2 together. Come to find out it was in fact her grandson. How sad for that family. So of course my excitement came to a quick crash and I started to think how I would function if I lost my son, makes me want to cry. Soemtimes lives end too short, this boy was 17 years old. Makes me want to hold on to my 12 year old boy and never let go.

Britney Spears

What can you say?? I was discussing Britney last night with my husband and I wake up to this! Go figure. I say it is time for this girl to get herself together and get out of the spotlight. As many have said she is on the verge of a meltdown. What girl in her right mind would shave their head??
I look at this act and feel sorry for her. Yes, she chose fame and fortune but there is no reason for the world to bother her the way they have. We all make mistakes in our lives and we are fortunate enough not to have our "dirty laundry" hanging out for the world to see. If this act is a call for help, I hope someone steps up and helps her, I look at this picture of her and see a girl who needs alot of help.

Newington High in the news again

Geez...what's with these kids and guns? Kid brings a pellet gun to school after what happened the other day? Really..How stupid could you be?!?!

Newington High Newington, CT

I never expected such violence so close to home. Kids plotting to kill other children and video taping it. We all seemed so shocked that this child would do such a thing. I am sure that many, many years ago kids thought about it as well, just nobody acted on it. Many of us do not know what is going on in the heads of these children, we call them crazy and how could the parents of not known. But we never know the real picture. I think this is a horrible plan and do not condone it but what have these children been through at school. We never hear about that. Have they been bullied, picked on, out casted by their own peers? I think it will be something that we will never truly know for sure. All we know is that these kids have killed and we are not sure why!! Look at the violence in the world, we have war, we have drugs, we have superstars singing about violence as if to idolize it. children look up to a lot of these musicians and say " I want to be just like that when I grow up!" So act upon what they THINK is going to make them popular and idolized.
We have turned into our own worse enemies. When I was my sons age (12) I can remember hearing about starving kids in Africa and other poor countries. None of this violence. My son is growing up in a world of HATE and it will rub off on alot of kids.

My Journey to Self Improvement

So this journey is not going so well. I am not sure if it is lack of will power or if I am being assisted. About a month ago I decided that I was ready to quit smoking. Three weeks ago I started to take Chantix to help me with that. Well my husband who is also a smoker and was always the one who said we should quit, always lecturing me about how bad it is for us and so on, really has not been supportive of me. More times than not he will sit next to me on the couch and procede to light up! Piss me off. No reguard for what I am doing, it is not like he didn't know it was coming. I had to wait 2 weeks before I could see my doc and another week before my insurance company approved my prescription. So here I am craving a smoke after not smoking all day. So it is the same idea with losing weight. No support at all. I wanted to go to the gym and he gets all pissed off and says he loves me just the way I am. Thanks honey but I am not buying it. You told me what you use to think of me before I gained the weight and you also told me what other men had said. So it is not that you love me just the way I am, it is the fact that you don't have to worry about who is looking at me and what they are thinking!!

It's Monday

and I am back at my dead end go nowhere job! Yeah for me...I am really starting to think it is time for a new job.
Apparently Motor Mouth came in on Saturday..for what??? All she does is milk the company Monday through Friday...she spends 1/2 her day bullshitting and nobody seems to care enough to say anything. Why?
You have the Kiss Ass who has his head so far up management's ass you are not sure where he ends and they begin. He is another one who has weaseled his way into doing pretty much nothing all day.
You have Big Man who is pretty much milking the clock too...All though he is not a kiss ass he sure likes to gossip and talk about who ever he can ...whether it be good or bad.
The there is Wee-Man..he is having a tough time with his mom and really is about the only one who does not irritate me to the core.
Then there is one more...Maple Man...he works pretty hard while he is here, is personality sucks and you can't trust him as far as you can throw him but he pretty much is ok..

SOOOO

Not much going on...My boy cat got fixed yesterday..poor guy! He is doing much better this morning. My husband is as crazy as normal. I am actually beginning to feel myself pull away from him and it scares me. I love his so much yet I can't get past his behavior. My son ...well he has his own problems and I am starting to blame myself for them...he is having severe impulsively problems and stuff. He has been going to counseling but it doesn't seem to help. What's a girl to do??? I just wish life was so much easier..I really am not sure ehat I can do anymore.
Work is the same..still stuck in a rut..

Today is

my birthday. Let's just say I am not thrilled, I turned 31 years old today. This morning I got no Happy Birthdays from anyone in my house. Oh well...they certainly don't let me forget about their b-days.

So I have been taking Chantix...the pill for smokers....for almost 2 weeks now. I sleep like crap and get some serious heartburn. They do seem to work though, I went from 1 pack a day (sometimes more) to 1 pack every 3 days. Not to shabby as far as I am concerned. I do find that I tend to eat alot more, so I will be returning to Weight Watchers just until I get a grip on this no smoking adventure.

My son is off punishment early...He had a good report card 2 A's 2 B's and the rest C's. Last marking period his report card was terrible..c's, f's d's. He has some learning disabilities and such. But he is doing ok...